Author: JHendrixCreative

This post is primarily for me starting off on another year of life. If you happen to find some tidbit of wisdom in the words, all the better.

It’s been a rough couple of years. Well, it’ been a rough go since 2011 really. Some ups. Plenty more downs. The last two years have seen deciding to leave a dream job, two cross-country moves, and two deaths of very important and loved family members. For the most part, I’ve tried to keep all inside. I try my damnedest to keep it all bottled up and quiet. But I’ve come to realize that means I keep everything bottled up and quiet. And that, my friends, is no way to live.

So now that I’m about to embark on the next year of life, I’m making some promises to myself. I don’t know if I can keep them all, but I can at least write down these reminders to reread on days when I want nothing more than to curl into a ball and hide.

So I promise these things to myself, to the universe, to you:

I will try to push past my fears

I will stop trying to hide away my emotions

I will tell people how much I care about them

I will chase my dreams and treat them like goals

I will pour my heart into everything I tackle, and if I don’t, I will identify it as something that doesn’t quench my soul

I will just be me

This list looks entirely too short, but it’s all I can handle. And, really, it’s all I need to guide what I’m trying to do this year. Because life isn’t about grand gestures and lofty aspirations. It’s about the little moments that all connect together, the interactions with other human beings, and the passions we should allow to drive our everyday lives.

So I’m going to start my new year with a new perspective. I’ve spent too many years of my life afraid, sad, and angry. While I can’t change everything about how my brain works, I can slowly change how I embrace life. And that is exactly what I plan to do during my next year of life.

Stay kind my friends

I started my day semi-grouchy, had technical difficulties using the interwebs (which sent me to full-blown grumpy frustration), and for some reason decided a quick trip for groceries (to a big box store no less), was a good idea.

I felt my frustration rising as I dealt with horrendous drivers and walked around the store in vain attempts to avoid the slow, confused, and just plain annoying patrons.

But as I was checking out and leaving the store, I realized something. Amidst this hustle and bustle of fellow shoppers, cashiers, and workers performing all variety of tasks, were fellow human beings. Were some annoyingly impeding my quick steps around the store? Yes. We’re some obnoxious as they stopped in the middle of an aisle with no regard for others? Absolutely. We’re some downright awful human beings who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone else in the store? Almost certainly.

But they’re all just people. Each one has a unique story that makes them who they are. Even if that is the seemingly rude woman with her cart parked in the middle of the cereal aisle or the jerk going the wrong way down a one-way lane in the parking lot. We all have our story that makes us who we are.

Maybe the woman taking up more than her share of real estate in cereal has poor eyesight and she can’t tell how much closer she could have hugged her cart to the shelves of food. And maybe the guy who was going the wrong way up the one-way lane was distracted by some bad news he’d just received.

My point is, I don’t know why these others folks were acting how they were. More importantly, I don’t have to be one of those people. And fortunately, I choose to do no more than smile and say excuse me to the woman in the cereal aisle and merely muttered under my breath about the man going the wrong way. Despite my grouchy mood, I didn’t add to anyone else’s potentially rotten day by reacting negatively.

And the real moral of the story here is, our actions come back to us. I started writing this post while waiting for my mom at the front of the store. I saw the lesson of my attitude and knew I needed to share, and I arrived home after running my errands to a truly lovely and generous gift from someone I’ve never met outside the realms of internet chatting before. Now, by no means do I think not blowing up at random strangers deserves such a heartwarming gift as I’ve received, but I like to think it’s a small part of a bigger karmic force I’m building. It’s certainly must be that for the virtual friend who has done such kindness for me. We truly are all connected. We all have the ability to brighten someone’s day, or at least not make it any worse. So next time you you find yourself short-tempered, remember we all have our own story that makes us tick. And next time someone does you an act of kindness, whether large or small, deserved or not, pass it on. I certainly will be as soon as I’m able.

So, I’m a bit late to the party on this, but let’s talk the new season of Supernatural today. This is at least the perfect time for a recap and speculation for this week, since we get to see all the guys again tomorrow night. Happy Thanksgiving indeed to those in the U.S.!

***SPOILERS AHEAD***

As predicted, the season so far has been angst ridden, primarily attributed to our gun slinging cutie, Dean. It’s understandable. He did lose his mom, his best friend, saw a portal opened to yet another universe, and has been babysitting Satan’s offspring. That’d put most folks in a bad mood. It certainly did so for Dean, as his shoot-first-ask-questions-later-mentality was in full force when applied to Jack in the beginning. That’s nothing a saving Sam’s life moment couldn’t fix, though 😉

Fast forward two episodes, and we did at least get Cas back (our Cas even!), and, as Dean says, that’s a pretty big win! The show, in its all too familiar fashion, couldn’t let the warm fuzzies of last week ensue more than the majority of an episode, which leads us to our current situation.

Jack has vanished and appears to have gone radio silent.

Last episode, it became all too clear just how like Castiel Jack really is. He is the tormented being that wants nothing more than to help and do good in this world. But, just like Cas, his little heart is crushed the second anything goes awry. Don’t get me wrong, accidentally killing someone is a pretty big whoopsie, but it’s a lesson he has to learn as a hunter. Unfortunately, Jack’s take away is that all he can do is hurt people and ruin everything. Can you say Cas 2.0? Oh, and of course uncle Asmodeus is slated to pop in next episode as well. (I know, I know. He’s not Jack’s uncle, but don’t you get the feeling he’s gonna try that whole “let’s team up” route Crowley did with Amara if he can?)

So, now our angsty Nephilim is off doing Chuck knows what, Cas is clearly going to be grumpy that his young charge is in the wind (which means Dean will be grumpy), uncle Asy is trying to get Jack to awaken the Shedin, and Sam’s got to be on the shortest fuse in the world right now.

Image via The CW Supernatural

Image via The CW Supernatural

Can you say drama for the Winchesters?

While there is potential for so much mayhem, Sam’s current “coping mechanism” has me the most intrigued. I’m guessing it will actually be a while before we see him break, but there has to be one hell of a damn keeping back everything he’s feeling.

I’ve seen many a fan comment on how all the focus has been on Dean and his feelings so far. Don’t you think that’s for a reason?

These writers are clever, clever folks. Dean taking the spotlight early on, going from super grumpy to overjoyed about Cas’ dead vs. living status – it’s made very clear that Sam is bottling it up to keep Dean from going over the edge.

He knows his brother.

Sam knows that if he lets it all fly as well, they will both just give up. Does this mean we’re going to see Sam blow a gasket right now? Probably not. I mean, chances are pretty damn high that Cas is going to take off to find Jack, which means Dean will likely be a bit pouty again, and Sam clearly has a soft spot for our little Nephilim. So chances are, he’ll be distracted by that whole mess. He may be the rational, level-headed one of the brothers, but he has his limits. Ultimately, I think we’re going to see just how much last season effected Sam in due time.

There’s been a lot of scary going around lately. And it seems that it is polarizing us into two very different camps. There’s either the “be nice to everyone” camp or “burn it all” camp. I’m seem to be finding myself in the middle ground. And I’m quickly learning that my voice, and the voice of those who stand in this proverbial no-man’s-land with me, often have our voices dimmed and muffled by the roars from others.

Let me clarify my stance on feeling in the middle ground here. It’s not that I don’t want to be nice to everyone, and I definitely don’t’ want to see it all burn, but I think a person is required to entertain at least a piece of both those elements to have an objective impact on the world. The world certainly becomes immensely scarier without the kindness fueling the desire to be nice to all. At the same time, the passion that ignites the letting it burn mentality is what drives change to social injustices. It all comes down to balancing the two and know when to let one drive take over the other.

Can’t we all play nice?

This is something that has plagued me for some time. They ‘why’ some aren’t able to be respectful and kind in their interactions, or at the very least, just ignore what the other jerks have to say. But then I remember, we all have different life experiences. Each of us deals with different stressors on a daily basis. We are human.

Compound that with the fact that much of our human interaction these days happens via a screen and internet connection, and you have the recipe for a real shit storm. How many times has every single one of us misinterpreted someone while just talking face-to-face? How many more times has that happened while reading someone’s social media post? If you said zero, you are lying. Because all of those different human experiences I mentioned before means we have vastly different ways of expressing ourselves and hearing others. All of these components come into play when figuring out why someone else appears to always have a stick up their ass. Maybe they do, but maybe they just don’t interact the same way you do.

Why can’t I just let it burn?

Well, you could. But doesn’t all the angst that comes with that mentality just eat away at your soul? Personally, I don’t want to spend all my time mad at the world. Anger breads fear, and fear breads bad behavior and even poorer decisions. It doesn’t mean I don’t have days that all I do is angst and grump and rage at everything, but I try to limit those days. They happen, yeah. Doesn’t mean I want to unpack and live in that mind space.

In the same breath, I have to say, when you see those comments, have those moments that build up that inner fire. . .use it. Those emotions almost always come from witnessing some social injustice, crappy behavior of a fellow human being, or some unthinkable atrocity our world seems to be plagued with these days. Instead of turning that rage towards others, harness it. Turn it into a drive to do something better than what you just witnessed. Again, I understand human nature doesn’t always allow for this, at least not immediately. Once you’ve cussed out your teddy bear, stomped your feet a bit, and punched the ever living daylights out of a pillow, take the rest of that rage and transform it into passion to go out and make a difference.  You’ll wind up feeling better, and the world at large will benefit from your do-gooding ways. Don’t ignore the atrocities. Just try to counteract them.

So I should be nice, but not too nice. What’s left?

Use that passion inside to stand up for the things you truly believe in. Speak up when you know something is wrong and talk back when you encounter a truly vile human being. Because, let’s face it, some people really don’t care. Guess what? Those people probably aren’t worth your time anyways. The ones that do need speaking up to, they probably won’t listen. But someone will be. There is always someone listening when you speak up with good intentions on behalf of the blighted, wronged, and less fortunate. Those that are listening are why you speak up.

At the end of the day, the human element means there will be misunderstandings. There will be moments we can’t stand each other. There will be times when all we want to do is watch it burn. So take these musings to mull over and try to temper your reactions before lashing out at a seemingly opposite opinion to your own next time you come across one. Maybe the other party didn’t express themselves well. Maybe you had a brain fart and read words out of order. Hell, maybe the both of you are just having really awful days and need to take a step back before you engage with the public. No judgements. It is not advisable for me to interact with any living creature pre-morning coffee. No matter the potential list of reasons, keep in mind you’re not just talking to some cosmic entity on the other side a screen. There is a person behind those words. And generally, most of us have feelings and forces that drive how we behave and interact with others. Always remember the human element.